Dear God, You Gon’ Test My Faith Like That!

Having strong Faith in God is a MAJOR part of growing your relationship with Him. Why is this so important? Because Faith speaks the language of the heart. I realized getting saved was my first act of Faith. (Romans 10:10) That moment represented an act of total surrenderance. In that moment I decided from that day forward my Faith is built on nothing less than Jesus Christ. I chose Him and He chose me, and I believed with all my heart that placing my life in His hands was the best decision for my life. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Faith as, “allegiance to duty or a person: LOYALTY, sincerity of intentions, belief and trust in and loyalty to God, firm belief in something for which there is no proof, something that is believed especially with strong conviction.” One word that caught my attention within this definition is loyalty. I never affiliated Faith with loyalty especially in relation to God but, when I thought about it loyalty is being faithful to your commitments and obligations. Therefore, God knows that my Faith is strong by honoring my commitments to Him and being obedient to His word. Now, I’m here to tell y’all the devil is furious when you level up on your Faith ok! He is not happy one bit that you are completely trusting and believing in God totally, so don’t think for a second that he isn’t going to try you. Usually your faith levels up after God allows a test or trial which I like to call Faith check-ins. I call them that because when trials come that’s when you find out what your Faith is really made of. It’s easy to have Faith when everything is going great but God wants our Faith to be strong at ALL times. Within this blog I’m going to share a testimony when my husband and I’s Faith was extremely tested. I hope this will encourage someone whose Faith may be on life support to check in and have hope again. Your miracle or breakthrough is waiting based on your Faith’s response.

My husband is a truck driver; He used to work locally delivering heavy machinery equipment such as: scissors lift, boom lifts, telehandlers etc. In October 2018 we were less than 5 months from our wedding. We had deposits down on pretty much everything that had to do with our wedding at this point. Everything was running smoothly then October 10th 2018 happened. I remember it like it was yesterday everything going normal then i got a call that changed our lives forever. It was my husband. He was barely breathing, he just said, “I’ve fallen off my truck and on my way to the hospital.” I anxiously got out of bed and was trying to get to him, but he told me to wait until he got to the hospital. I had to go to work, however I informed my supervisor about what was going on and my dad and I rushed to the hospital. By the time I got there he was sitting up and had some pain meds in him, then I learned the severity of the accident! My husband was unloading a scissor lift off his trailer for delivery. It was earlier in the morning so morning dew was still on his trailer. The scissor lift tires don’t have much traction because they are often used indoors. While he was unloading, the lift slid off the side of his trailer then he fell 20 ft while in the scissor lift. Once he hit the ground he was tossed out of the lift and he braced his fall with his left arm, shattering his wrist completely while also breaking 2 bones in his left arm. He also bruised his tailbone and back. Y’all my first thoughts of course were, Lord I thank you that he was ok! I got him home that night and observed how bad of a shape he was in. I remember asking him what hurts hunny? His response was, “Everything.” That legit broke my heart.

Once he went to sleep for the night, early in the morning about 2 am I called my grandmother, who I have a very close relationship with; I began crying to her. I began telling her, “How am I going to do all of this? Take care of my fiance? Work 2 jobs, plan a wedding, and stay active in my church’s ministry? HOW!?” I remember my grandmother telling me, “We are going to take it one day at a time, but one thing I know for sure I’ve already prayed on the behalf of your finances, you and Nick (my husband) will lack for nothing.” After this conversation I had a true (Psalms 30:5) experience. I was crying out to God in my midnight hour and He instructed me to call my grandmother so I could get some encouragement. Once the morning came I did feel lighter. I had joy, I had to rejoice in what God had already done. He had spared my fiance’s life which was more than enough! I knew our journey during this season wouldn’t be easy however, I knew God would comfort and provide us with the strength to get through it. That day he had an appointment with his surgeon, with the severity of my husband’s injuries he needed multiple surgeries. This appointment was hard to get through as the doctor started explaining Nick’s injuries, what would be accomplished during his surgeries, and what his recovery would look like post surgeries. The doctor said something that crushed my husband’s spirit, he said, “You will NEVER be able to do your job again. I would find something different man, this is just the worst injury to have at your age, you’re so young.” My husband has always wanted to be a truck driver so this news was crushing. As the doctor continued to talk I noticed a tear rolling down my husband’s face. Listen y’all my husband does not CRY! So when I saw that tear I KNEW it was real. At this moment I asked the doctor if he could step out of the room and give us a moment and I got my husband all the way together! I told him, “He is a doctor, he is doing his job, but we know who WE SERVE and our God has the final say. God sent him here to perform his job but he does not control the outcome!” He felt better after that we continued his appointment and our journey continued from there. 

“I hope this will encourage someone whose Faith may be on life support to check in and have hope again. Your miracle or breakthrough is waiting based on your Faith’s response.”

– Diamond Melvin

As I mentioned earlier in the blog we were 5 months away from our wedding when this happened. Those of you who read one of my previous blogs, “Dear God, The Church Can Be a Hurtful Place.” know I’ve shared a personal testimony about my personal church hurt experience. It involved my husband and I and after coming out of that I thought we were smooth sailing to the altar lol but God was like nope! I believe He really wanted to see if we were gonna trust Him forreal before our union so He decided to give us yet another faith check in so we could level up. Personally in my thought process I was like what we just went through was a doozy! So when Nick got injured I honestly was like, “Dang God! We can’t catch a break?!” But God being so amazing He knew we could handle it. (1st Corinthians 10:13) Nick and I needed to have a serious conversation about whether we were going to continue with our wedding or not. We talked and he did not want to call it off, I kept asking “Are you sure?” He responded, “YES!” everytime. I remember telling him, “It’s gonna get tight” (talking about our finances.) But God already had that handled. We were grateful this was a work related injury so my husband received workers compensation, along with other payouts from other insurance policies he had for accidental injury. Even though he received compensation everything did not add up to his normal paycheck so there were some adjustments we had to make at times to cover everything we had going on.

Y’all I’m not about to sit here and just act like our Faith was on 10 this entire season that would be a lie! It got TUFF at times. Just the stress of it all, I was working 2 jobs, my full time job started at 4AM. My husband had numerous physical therapy appointments, doctors appointments, staying active in our church, trying to have some time with family and friends and on top of everything else planning a wedding. All of this really weighed heavy on us at times. I remember when I was just so overwhelmed one day my husband and I got into a huge argument and he then shouted, “How do you think I feel! You think I wanted things to go this way?!” Then I thought, I never considered my husband’s feelings through all of this. He knew it was a lot on me, he could see it day in and day out. I did not consider his feelings of guilt, not being able to work because of his injury and him thinking that it was his fault we were going through all of this. He felt like less of a man because he couldn’t contribute like he normally does. Even though these moments happened it pushed us to labor on our knees in prayer. This season pushed us out of our comfort zone spiritually. My husband really began his own relationship with Christ during this time; we both could only depend on Him. The more we depended on God and let go of the stress and stopped putting all of our trust in people. We watched God do it ALL! Pay every bill, wipe every tear, strengthen us when we were weak, heal my husband with him still doing the job his surgeon said he couldn’t, and get us to our wedding day without any debt! We never lacked for anything! Our wedding day was the celebration we needed after all that had taken place! We had the victory! 

I wanna share some important tips that I learned when my Faith was tested during this season:

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1. “Prayer is key and faith unlocks the door.” Pastor Jeffery Johnson: My Pastor says this quote often when he is teaching or preaching a sermon, and it wasn’t until this test that I fully grasped it. Prayer and faith go hand and hand; you cannot exercise one without the other. Hebrews 11:6 makes it plain, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” To break this down, praying without faith is not an option. It’s impossible to please God without it. When making your requests known to God you MUST believe that He will do the very best for you according to his perfect will. The last piece of that verse is, “he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Therefore, when your prayer is combined with a healthy dose of faith it is POWERFUL. When exercising both God will reward you for being conscientious and showing persistent effort. Now, his reward may be different than what you expect, but He WILL NOT let you down. How do I know? Romans 8:28 states: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

2. His strength is made PERFECT when we are weak: This tip comes from 2nd Corinthians 12:9 states, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Y’all your girl was WEAK during this season. When my fiance now husband got injured I was working 2 jobs at the time. I want to share why I was working 2 jobs because there is importance behind it. I got that job because I purchased a new car months before and it had been a while since I had a car payment. I did not want to alter my lifestyle in any way so I secured the second job as a safety net. Shortly after I started I realized I was making more than enough money at my main job to pay my car payment and live comfortably. I tried to quit that job on multiple occasions but God would never allow me to. I really tried to quit so many times y’all, but God knew my husband’s injury would come later that year and that income would be needed. The importance is that Romans 8:28 worked. God was even revealing himself in the midst of the test. My main job schedule was mon-fri 4AM-1PM and my part time job hours varied. Typically I worked 2 to 3 days a week anywhere between 4 up to 8 hour shifts. Sometimes I worked 4AM-1PM, went home, took a nap then worked 4PM to midnight at my part time job; to get right back up at 3AM. Not to mention I never missed any of my husband’s physician visits or physical therapy appointments, and physical therapy was 3 times a week. We also remained active in our church’s ministry and did I mention we were still planning an ENTIRE WEDDING! WEAK was an understatement! There were times I didn’t know how I was even functioning, sometimes it felt like I was having an outer body experience. However, thinking back I KNOW it was only God and His strength. This human body can only do so much it is limited but God’s strength is limitless.

3. Exercise your Faith: James 2:17 NIV states: “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” You have to activate your faith! When we received that devastating news from the doctor about my husband’s current job situation, I exercised my faith and flexed it hard! Now y’all it’s not always easy to maintain this type of mindset when things get tuff. I am forever grateful for the supportive community that my husband and I had during this time. Even though we felt like giving up at times our community would keep us reminded of who God is and His promises toward us. There was a particular day which happened to be my bridal shower, I remember being so stressed out that day because someone had promised us they would pay an expense related to our wedding. Needless to say they did not come through and it placed my husband and I in a bind. Do yall know the Lord spoke to me and said, “Just enjoy your bridal shower I already have worked it out.” The monetary gifts I received from my bridal shower was enough to take care of what we needed with money left over. I wept to God and asked him to forgive me because once again he is ALWAYS looking out for me! So exercise your faith! Make God’s deeds known speak them LOUDLY AND PROUDLY because to have faith without works is dead faith.

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Faith is necessary for any christian as stated in Hebrews 11:6 it is impossible to please God without it. I don’t know about yall, but I want God to be pleased with me and every aspect of my life. One lesson that I’m currently working on in my current relationship with God is reacting. I’m learning that God does nothing without the Holyghost warning you first. Therefore, because I get fair warned and the devil never presents any new tricks I am left with a choice. I can choose to have a reaction and go down a rabbit hole, or I can take a moment and respond with a Faith response having hope and trusting God. You want to know what’s so awesome, is that God doesn’t even require you to have this enormous amount of faith. He only requires your measure of faith to be the size of a grain of mustard seed. (Matthew 17:20) According to a source named “Plant Bible ” from Old Dominion University. “A grain of mustard seed is approximately (⅛) inch so it is not the smallest seed but it is the smallest seed of those which “you plant in the ground.” God is just asking you to have Faith that’s the size of the smallest seed that you can plant in the ground. When you think about it from that perspective, that’s not unreachable at all. When having a test in your life, because they will come, and they wont stop as long as you’re breathing. Remember that tests only come to make your relationship with God even greater and for God to get the glory out of your life and your trial. Your faith can not be tested without a test and without that test you can not level up! I will leave yall with a quote my husband told me a few years back, “How can you have faith in something you can not see? You can’t see oxygen but you believe it’s there and better yet you breathe.”

Love Your Sis,

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