What’s going on, readers? It has been quite a while for a new Dear God, Journey Blog! I’m excited to be back with another exciting blog topic for you all. If you all haven’t caught the theme of my Dear God, Journaling Closer to Christ platform, it is all about TRANSPARENCY. These topics that I share are real-life experiences that the Lord has had me journey through or is currently having me journey through. Therefore, the topic of this blog is something I feel is extremely relatable, something that we all have to be tasked with at some point in our lives, and that is SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Keeping it completely 100 with you all setting healthy boundaries has been interesting for me, to say the least. It’s hard to break a cycle you have been in for years and interrupt your norm. In my life, at times I’ve put others’ needs before my own, whether that be at work, with family, with friends, or at church. Recently, the Lord has really tasked me with understanding that some boundaries are healthy and needed to maintain a healthy mental space. Setting healthy boundaries affects all areas of your life. Your relationship with friends, family, spouses, work, church, and even God. Currently, I am setting healthy boundaries for the first time in my life, and it has been difficult not only for myself but for others to understand because they are used to me consistently being a “yes” person. Now that I am setting healthy boundaries, I can say it was so needed. Lately, I have the zeal that I had when I first gave my life to Christ. My thirst for His word and desire to spend intimate time with Him are back. Not to mention the effect it’s having on my personal life as well. I am totally feeling like an entirely different Diamond. Therefore, I titled this blog, “Dear God, I Need to Set Some Healthy Boundaries.”

What are Healthy Boundaries? I came across this quote when I started my process, and it states: “Healthy Boundaries are the limits you place around your time, emotions, body, and mental health to stay resilient, solid, and content with who you are. These empowering borders protect you from being used, drained, or manipulated by others.” This quote spoke volumes to me because when I think of being healthy, it’s not just a physical aspect; it’s giving your body what it needs to sustain your body as a whole, including your mental health, physical health, spiritual health, and emotional health. When I think about being healthy, I think of things that will prosper you, things that are good to consume and digest. Of course, being unhealthy is the total opposite of not giving your body what it needs to prosper in your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health. Consuming things that are bad for you, such as food, negative thoughts, certain relationships, etc. Ultimately, things that do bring you harm I wanted to break this down because I believe sometimes we make decisions and set boundaries that aren’t healthy; therefore, I wanted to place importance on not just setting boundaries but healthy ones.

I wanted to share with you all an experience that my husband and I had a few months ago that pushed me to start setting healthy boundaries. My husband and I have been in our current church ministry since 2017. We serve in our church ministry in numerous areas. My husband started as the drummer while also being one of the audio technicians, and I was leading our praise and worship team while also helping in other areas of the ministry with planning events and handling our social media platforms. In 2020, as we know, the COVID-19 pandemic happened, which, in my opinion, changed the way churches do ministry. My church was not an exception to that; myself and other church members were thinking of ways to keep our ministry moving during this time. Zoom was utilized for weekly Bible study and prayer meetings, and we started streaming Sunday services on our Facebook page while going live. During this time, our keyboardist at the time decided to end his relationship with our ministry, and my husband started playing the keyboard for our church weekly while continuing to be one of the audio technicians. I was still leading our praise and worship team, planning events, and handling our social media platforms.

Quick back story, everyone: for me, I don’t know how to serve in ministry without absolutely giving my 100%. Why? Because that’s all I’ve ever seen and all I’ve ever known. When I was growing up in church, my grandmother made me do EVERYTHING, literally lol. I read the scripture, led the testimony services, sang in the choir, ushered, helped her serve on the hospitality committee, and when we went to fellowship with other churches and they wanted a youth to represent our church, she ALWAYS volunteered me! But not only that, I watched how my grandmother served in the church; she always and still to this day finds something for her hands to do, and she always used to struggle with saying no! So guess what? She passed that down to her granddaughter.

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].”

– John 10:10 AMP

Therefore, my husband and I serve faithfully and consistently in ministry. When the COVID cases began slowing down, we started transitioning back to in-person services. At the end of 2022, it began to be very hard to serve in our roles. It consumed so much of our time. I would have to pick songs we were going to sing no later than Tuesday every week so my husband could practice on his own time before we had rehearsal every Friday. Then, if some members couldn’t make rehearsal or church that Sunday, my husband and I would have to change songs, and then we were also dealing with the need to have updated audio equipment to achieve the sound that my Pastor wanted. Also, when the time arose for us to go on vacation or not be able to make Sunday service due to feeling under the weather, It felt as though it was the end of the world, like we couldn’t miss a Sunday. My husband helped find the new audio equipment for my pastor, and at the time nothing was being changed. It honestly became overwhelming; it had gotten to the point that we both didn’t even enjoy coming to church anymore. It felt like a burden to get into worship because everything was a constant tug. As husband and wife, the devil started using this as a way to affect our personal communication within our household and our relationship with our pastor and first lady. There had been numerous conversations with leadership about certain concerns, but we were not making any headway. Therefore, we were considering changing churches.

This past April, we knew we needed to have a conversation with our leaders. After service one Sunday, we met with just our pastor at the time and told him our concerns and our needs to make a difference in the roles we were serving in. Two things I admire about our pastor are his ability to listen and his refusal to provide an answer without seeking God first. During that conversation, he listened to all of our concerns and advised that he was going to seek the Lord, and once he had an answer, we would have another meeting. During this wait, there was A LOT going on. My husband was very firm in his stance. He KNEW he was ready to go; he did not care what our leader’s answers were going to be. As for me, I will NOT move until God gives me the OK. That’s just me; therefore, we had to get on the same page as husband and wife, and during this time, after a friend told me that we needed to get on the same page, God allowed me to see how the enemy was attacking our communication. It just seemed like everything was becoming an argument between us, and his plan was to ultimately get us on different pages and attend different churches to create division within our marriage. God allowed my eyes to start seeing things spiritually. However, that wasn’t all! I had also received a message from a complete stranger saying that it was also time for us to go. During this time of about 2 weeks since our initial meeting, we kept praying and seeking the Lord for an answer. Our pastor contacted me and said he did receive an answer from the Lord and wanted us to meet.

During this meeting, it was with our pastor and first lady, and the conversation was actually very insightful and needed. I personally knew that they had sought the Lord and received an answer concerning us because there were things they said that were prayers I had personally prayed, prayers I hadn’t even shared with my husband as of yet. I know only God could have revealed that to them. They shared that God revealed that it wasn’t our time to leave yet, not for their personal gain, but gave specific reasons as to why. We left that meeting in a much better space and with clarity. We decided to let them know we would continue to seek the Lord for our answer. When God finally spoke, He let us know we needed to set some HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. After six years, I decided to step down from leading our praise and worship team, and my husband decided to step down from playing the keyboard and go back to playing drums while still being one of the audio technicians. Some people looked at this as a downgrade for us, but it was an upgrade, ok! Our communication improved instantly without all the added stress, and our time has been freed up to spend more time together. On a spiritual side, our pastor said he and my first lady were discussing a way for me and a close friend of mine to pull back on some Sundays with the praise and worship team so they could use us in other areas of the ministry. Now that I’ve made those changes, God is birthing gifts in me I didn’t even know I had. I now emcee services, speak on certain Sundays (when asked), usher, and still sing part time with the praise and worship team. My excitement is back for our church, why we even joined in the first place, and for worship. My relationship with God has improved significantly. I’m spending so much more time in his word and more intimate time with Him. I’m also learning how to say NO to things in my personal life as well and that has made a tremendous difference also.

Important Tips I’ve Learned Setting Healthy Boundaries

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1. It’s OK to say NO!: (Matthew 5:37 AMP) states: “But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’ [a firm yes or no]; anything more than that comes from the evil one.“ You all, I legit STRUGGLE with saying no, ok! I didn’t realize how much until my husband came into my life. He has NO problem saying NO! He can see at times how much I’m worn out or depleted from not saying no, so he began to start saying it for me at times. Can I get an amen for a man who leads! He is constantly concerned about my well-being and me doing TOO MUCH! It wasn’t until the recent experience the Lord had us go through with our church that I finally grasped it. Like it’s ok to say no, I used to feel so guilty that I was letting people down, to the point that I would commit to things knowing I was falling to pieces just to please people. The last part of this verse in Matthew states, “anything more than that ‘comes from the evil one.” God wants us to make our no firm because when you don’t, you leave a gray area and your stance is unclear, therefore creating an opening for the devil, or the “evil one,” to confuse things and have things interpreted totally differently than it was meant to be. Ultimately resulting in you doing something that your heart is not in. I know firsthand how this can turn out because I have been there. Therefore, saying no to some things is ok! Things can go on without you, and I promise that people will be fine! Give yourself the grace to take a moment sometimes and say no; your body is begging you for it.

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries allows God to Grow You In Different Areas: (Hebrews 6:1 AMP) states: “Therefore let us get past the elementary stage in the teachings about the Christ, advancing on to maturity and perfection and spiritual completeness, [doing this] without laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God.” Within this season of transition that my husband and I recently experienced with our church, I noticed that my relationship with God grew stagnant. I personally knew that my relationship with God had grown tremendously since first joining our current ministry; however, I had gotten to a place of comfortability. Honestly, I had outgrown the position I was previously in, and God made things uncomfortable for me to actually take that step, make changes, and set some healthy boundaries so I could grow more in my relationship with Him and my gifts. I knew God was leading me correctly because He also gave me confirmation through my pastor when he said that he and my first lady were just recently having the same conversation about me not serving on my praise and worship team full time so I could do more within the ministry. This verse instructs us that going hard for God just on Sundays is not enough! We MUST mature and grow into a relationship with God where this is a lifestyle. Like you need food and water to survive, we NEED Him. Setting healthy boundaries is an important key to growth. The reality is that some people and some things are not meant to go with you as you grow in your relationship with God, and you may be hindering your growth in God by not creating the healthy boundaries that are necessary.

3. God Is Not Disappointed With You Because You Are Setting Healthy Boundaries: Now, yall, this is the tip right here, ok! I can say firsthand that growing up in a traditional church, there were times throughout my childhood that church members would make you feel guilty for taking a break. Making you even feel bad that God would be upset if you said no. I am currently doing this for myself, yall. I had to learn that me missing a Sunday in church or not being able to make every event does not mean that God is dissatisfied with me. (John 10:10 AMP) states: “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” God wants us to enjoy this life! We only get ONE CHANCE  to do life on this side, and God wants us to enjoy it! He wants you to spend time with your family, to vacation, to spend time with friends, to enjoy a hobby of your choice, to experience genuine relationships, and to rest. He wants you to ENJOY life! This ultimately requires you to really be rooted and grounded in your own relationship with God because people will try to sway you otherwise. I can say honestly that I love God with every fiber of my being, and since I decided to build my own relationship with Him and study to show myself approved, I realized that it doesn’t take all this extraness that people require to serve God. The God I serve is pleased with me taking vacations, making time for my marriage, spending time with family and friends, etc. Ultimately, if you are living your life more abundantly, you are going to be a better disciple for Him, and that’s what matters most!

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Setting healthy boundaries is not optional but necessary to maintain a healthy mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional space. I cannot believe it took me 30 years to realize this lol but His timing is always on time. I serve a God who is not only concerned about what I can do for His kingdom, but He is just as concerned about me and my well-being, and I believe the same thing for yall. I ask you to examine your life if you were just like me in any of these areas: constantly being the yes person, literally worn out from saying yes all the time; no longer enjoying your work for God; your relationship with God has grown stagnant; you are unhappy in your current church ministry; you lack time to enjoy life; and you feel empty. If you are experiencing any of these things, it may be time to set some healthy boundaries. I know it’s scary, and you don’t want to be a disappointment to some people in your life, but your focus should be on God and not people. Making sure He is pleased and that this is His will and plan for your life, I pray for each of you that He will guide you in this journey of setting healthy boundaries so you can get to living your abundant life. I know it will be great! Ya’ll don’t hesitate to share any testimonies with me if this helps you; I would love to hear them! As always, remember that the journey starts with just two words: “Dear God,.”

Love Your Sis,

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Fear is our body’s natural response to danger, it is an unpleasant and very complex emotion. It can be positive and healthy, but sometimes it can have negative consequences. Today we are living in a fear based world and adapting fear culture. But to keep it 100, it’s hard not to live in fear right? I mean I’m sure we all can agree there is A LOT going on! At times it feels like we are living in a Fear zone. Parents are concerned that their child or children may not make it back home from school that day, you can’t grocery shop in peace, you could be all smiles with a colleague in the workplace and then it could end in death the next. Not to mention diseases, (Covid-19, RSV, flu, Monkeypox, cancer etc.), natural disasters, racism, political issues and EVERYTHING else that comes along with this world. However, fear can be crippling, tormenting, and keep you from fulfilling your purpose that God has placed on your life. The spirits of hate, violence, power, and control just to name a few, are running havoc in the world currently and the devil wants us to be fearful. He wants us to be prisoners in our own towns, homes, churches, schools etc. He wants you to get so fearful that it destroys your relationship with God and keeps you from doing Kingdom work and living in your purpose. God gave me this topic for my readers to not only encourage y’all, but to encourage me as well. The truth is God is well AWARE of the things within this world that causes us to fear, however, He wants us to enjoy this life and receive everything He has to offer us and we cannot do that living with a spirit of Fear.

“No one gets a gold medal for suffering.”

– Latoya Mullen FNP-BC PMHNP-BC

This subject definitely hits home for me because I have found myself struggling to not live with a spirit of fear especially when it comes to doing normal everyday tasks such as: going to work, the grocery store, church, the movies etc. For example when the Covid-19 pandemic first started, as the world shut down for several weeks. During this time I became a fan of grocery pick up. I honestly can’t believe I hadn’t been doing it before Covid-19. So every week, even to this day, I do a grocery pick up for my household. If you know anything about grocery pickup you may have heard of substitutions. Substitutions are replacements for the original items you ordered that were out of stock. The grocery store will first try to substitute it for something similar and if that is not an option they will not replace the item altogether and it will show as “out of stock” on your order. When that happens I tend to get frustrated because that means I have to go in the store to get what I need when I clearly tried to prevent that by doing the grocery pickup. Now that I have to go into the store, here comes the spirit of fear rising up in me. Like you all, I’m aware of the mass shootings that have been happening in grocery stores. So when I have to go in the store I find myself trying to be as quick as possible, not messing around and just looking at things. When I’m waiting in line for self-checkout I’m watching people’s moves and people around me trying to see what’s in their hands or I may get even more anxious when someone pulls something out of their pocket because you just don’t know what people are capable of these days. When I finally get out of the store I’m immediately thanking God that I made it out safely. But the reality, is what if God needed me to share my testimony with someone in that store? Or He was leading me to pay for someone’s groceries or share His love. I wouldn’t be in a place to hear Him or complete tasks He was giving me because I’m fearful that I won’t make it out the store.

The website verywellmind.com has an interesting article about fear and the four responses of fear. I was drawn to the first part of the article where it explains fear and how it affects the brain. “The human experience of fear begins in the amygdala, the part of the brain that processes many of our emotions. When the amygdala is activated due to possible danger, it elicits the fear response.While the amygdala processes emotional experiences, the frontal lobe and prefrontal cortex control things like language and impulse control. When we experience fear, our brain re-routes energy to the amygdala, slowing down processing in other areas. That is why it can be difficult to speak or make rational decisions when we are afraid.” That explanation explains how fear is the enemy of faith. Fear robs you of rational thinking and can lead you into making poor decisions. When you let fear and anxiety control you, you lose your ability to practice empathy and hospitality to those in need. Which is what happened to me in the grocery store.

The spirit of fear is a distraction. It keeps you from doing God’s work effectively. I mentioned at the beginning of this blog how this is also encouraging me. God has really been dealing with me on this because your girl has been struggling ok! Ultimately God questioned me one day and it was so profound to me. “Do you not know how many people are missing out on an experience, encounter, relationship with Me because you are operating in a spirit of fear?” That was like a punch in the gut, but I love when God gets me all the way together. The reality is this Christian walk is not about you, the great commission tells us that. (Matthew 28:16-20 NIV) Those words were given to every follower of Jesus. If I am His disciple (a follower of Jesus), I am commanded to go and make disciples of others. The commission is not to wait for the world to come to us; it is to go into all of the world. In order for us to be successful in the great commission, it requires us to not live with a spirit of Fear.

Important Tips to Help Combat the Spirit of Fear

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1. God Does Not Call You to Have a Spirit of Fear: (2nd Timothy 1:7 KJV) “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” This verse is very popular in the Bible; it’s Paul’s letter to Timothy. Paul is reminding Timothy that God is more than capable of handling anything that he faces and to not fear. Fear can enslave you and Christians need not be a slave to fear. Not because there’s nothing worthy of our fear. But because our God is bigger than those things. As followers of God, we have His strength living within us giving us strength and power. Because of that we can walk through this life fearless because we know we have God on our side. Love is who God is and what He calls us to do. It not only changes our lives, but the lives of others. A sound mind means having the capacity to think, reason, and understand for oneself. Having self control is important, the bible states in Proverbs 25:28 “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” Paul gave Timothy this reminder, but it is for you as well. Remember who you serve! God is more than capable of conquering any fear and providing a way for your escape (1st Corinthians 10:13), trust Him. We are called to greater than fear, it is not of God.

2. God is Aware: Omniscient is one of the attributes of God and it means, “all knowing” Isaiah 40:28 states: “Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding.” God knows all things past, present and future. He is the source of all knowledge and knows the potentialities of any situation. He even knows every person’s thoughts before we think them. Therefore, we have no reason to fear because we serve a God that already knows what will happen before it happens.

3. Be Watchful of What You are Feeding Your Spirit: This is an important tip that I cannot stress enough. You MUST be watchful of what you feed your spirit. A few examples would be: participating in negative conversations, social media, the news, music, TV etc. These things can be utilized to influence the spirit of fear. Personally, even as hard as it can be at times, I try to limit my time on social media and with news updates. A tip that has helped me is hiding my apps and turning off app notifications. That way they are not the first thing I look for when I turn on my phone and because my apps are hidden I am not receiving notifications. I can find myself reading or watching videos about things that are happening in the world and I can feel the spirit of fear start to rise up in me. I’m not advising to totally be unaware of what’s happening in today’s society, but I am advising that you know your limits. Simply put, know when enough is enough. I really love the bible verse (Philippians 4:7-9) because thinking on these things will combat that spirit of fear. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.”

4.  Seek Help!: If you find yourself in a place where you are constantly living with a spirit of fear and trying things on your own doesn’t work, please seek help so you do not have to fight this fight on your own. Help can be in many different forms: joining a church, attending a prayer group, attending bible study, therapy, life coaches, talking with a close friend, etc. There are a plethora of resources out here so you don’t have to do life alone. “No one gets a gold medal for suffering.” – Latoya Mullen FNP-BC PMHNP-BC

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Y’all, I wanted to share how hard the enemy was fighting me to write this blog. I had been working on this blog for over a month and I believe he was fighting me so hard because he knows this is important. It’s imperative for believers to be checked in regard to fear because the enemy thinks he has won with all of the chaos going on today. I’m glad God used me in this capacity as a wake up call for some of you. Today is your LAST day walking with that spirit of fear. You will no longer be imprisoned in your mind, house, community, church, school, job, etc. We are called to a greater work and as much as the enemy is wreaking havoc right now, our calling has not changed and our calling is bigger than the four walls we are in. So as hard as it may be, fight that spirit of fear. I’ll be praying for you. Be obedient to God and continue the great commission. Someone’s soul is waiting to be saved, someone’s healing, someone’s deliverance, someone’s breakthrough is waiting for you to conquer that spirit of fear. Be encouraged, my fellow followers of Jesus Christ, because He has already won! (John 16:33)

Love Your Sis,

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Having strong Faith in God is a MAJOR part of growing your relationship with Him. Why is this so important? Because Faith speaks the language of the heart. I realized getting saved was my first act of Faith. (Romans 10:10) That moment represented an act of total surrenderance. In that moment I decided from that day forward my Faith is built on nothing less than Jesus Christ. I chose Him and He chose me, and I believed with all my heart that placing my life in His hands was the best decision for my life. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Faith as, “allegiance to duty or a person: LOYALTY, sincerity of intentions, belief and trust in and loyalty to God, firm belief in something for which there is no proof, something that is believed especially with strong conviction.” One word that caught my attention within this definition is loyalty. I never affiliated Faith with loyalty especially in relation to God but, when I thought about it loyalty is being faithful to your commitments and obligations. Therefore, God knows that my Faith is strong by honoring my commitments to Him and being obedient to His word. Now, I’m here to tell y’all the devil is furious when you level up on your Faith ok! He is not happy one bit that you are completely trusting and believing in God totally, so don’t think for a second that he isn’t going to try you. Usually your faith levels up after God allows a test or trial which I like to call Faith check-ins. I call them that because when trials come that’s when you find out what your Faith is really made of. It’s easy to have Faith when everything is going great but God wants our Faith to be strong at ALL times. Within this blog I’m going to share a testimony when my husband and I’s Faith was extremely tested. I hope this will encourage someone whose Faith may be on life support to check in and have hope again. Your miracle or breakthrough is waiting based on your Faith’s response.

My husband is a truck driver; He used to work locally delivering heavy machinery equipment such as: scissors lift, boom lifts, telehandlers etc. In October 2018 we were less than 5 months from our wedding. We had deposits down on pretty much everything that had to do with our wedding at this point. Everything was running smoothly then October 10th 2018 happened. I remember it like it was yesterday everything going normal then i got a call that changed our lives forever. It was my husband. He was barely breathing, he just said, “I’ve fallen off my truck and on my way to the hospital.” I anxiously got out of bed and was trying to get to him, but he told me to wait until he got to the hospital. I had to go to work, however I informed my supervisor about what was going on and my dad and I rushed to the hospital. By the time I got there he was sitting up and had some pain meds in him, then I learned the severity of the accident! My husband was unloading a scissor lift off his trailer for delivery. It was earlier in the morning so morning dew was still on his trailer. The scissor lift tires don’t have much traction because they are often used indoors. While he was unloading, the lift slid off the side of his trailer then he fell 20 ft while in the scissor lift. Once he hit the ground he was tossed out of the lift and he braced his fall with his left arm, shattering his wrist completely while also breaking 2 bones in his left arm. He also bruised his tailbone and back. Y’all my first thoughts of course were, Lord I thank you that he was ok! I got him home that night and observed how bad of a shape he was in. I remember asking him what hurts hunny? His response was, “Everything.” That legit broke my heart.

Once he went to sleep for the night, early in the morning about 2 am I called my grandmother, who I have a very close relationship with; I began crying to her. I began telling her, “How am I going to do all of this? Take care of my fiance? Work 2 jobs, plan a wedding, and stay active in my church’s ministry? HOW!?” I remember my grandmother telling me, “We are going to take it one day at a time, but one thing I know for sure I’ve already prayed on the behalf of your finances, you and Nick (my husband) will lack for nothing.” After this conversation I had a true (Psalms 30:5) experience. I was crying out to God in my midnight hour and He instructed me to call my grandmother so I could get some encouragement. Once the morning came I did feel lighter. I had joy, I had to rejoice in what God had already done. He had spared my fiance’s life which was more than enough! I knew our journey during this season wouldn’t be easy however, I knew God would comfort and provide us with the strength to get through it. That day he had an appointment with his surgeon, with the severity of my husband’s injuries he needed multiple surgeries. This appointment was hard to get through as the doctor started explaining Nick’s injuries, what would be accomplished during his surgeries, and what his recovery would look like post surgeries. The doctor said something that crushed my husband’s spirit, he said, “You will NEVER be able to do your job again. I would find something different man, this is just the worst injury to have at your age, you’re so young.” My husband has always wanted to be a truck driver so this news was crushing. As the doctor continued to talk I noticed a tear rolling down my husband’s face. Listen y’all my husband does not CRY! So when I saw that tear I KNEW it was real. At this moment I asked the doctor if he could step out of the room and give us a moment and I got my husband all the way together! I told him, “He is a doctor, he is doing his job, but we know who WE SERVE and our God has the final say. God sent him here to perform his job but he does not control the outcome!” He felt better after that we continued his appointment and our journey continued from there. 

“I hope this will encourage someone whose Faith may be on life support to check in and have hope again. Your miracle or breakthrough is waiting based on your Faith’s response.”

– Diamond Melvin

As I mentioned earlier in the blog we were 5 months away from our wedding when this happened. Those of you who read one of my previous blogs, “Dear God, The Church Can Be a Hurtful Place.” know I’ve shared a personal testimony about my personal church hurt experience. It involved my husband and I and after coming out of that I thought we were smooth sailing to the altar lol but God was like nope! I believe He really wanted to see if we were gonna trust Him forreal before our union so He decided to give us yet another faith check in so we could level up. Personally in my thought process I was like what we just went through was a doozy! So when Nick got injured I honestly was like, “Dang God! We can’t catch a break?!” But God being so amazing He knew we could handle it. (1st Corinthians 10:13) Nick and I needed to have a serious conversation about whether we were going to continue with our wedding or not. We talked and he did not want to call it off, I kept asking “Are you sure?” He responded, “YES!” everytime. I remember telling him, “It’s gonna get tight” (talking about our finances.) But God already had that handled. We were grateful this was a work related injury so my husband received workers compensation, along with other payouts from other insurance policies he had for accidental injury. Even though he received compensation everything did not add up to his normal paycheck so there were some adjustments we had to make at times to cover everything we had going on.

Y’all I’m not about to sit here and just act like our Faith was on 10 this entire season that would be a lie! It got TUFF at times. Just the stress of it all, I was working 2 jobs, my full time job started at 4AM. My husband had numerous physical therapy appointments, doctors appointments, staying active in our church, trying to have some time with family and friends and on top of everything else planning a wedding. All of this really weighed heavy on us at times. I remember when I was just so overwhelmed one day my husband and I got into a huge argument and he then shouted, “How do you think I feel! You think I wanted things to go this way?!” Then I thought, I never considered my husband’s feelings through all of this. He knew it was a lot on me, he could see it day in and day out. I did not consider his feelings of guilt, not being able to work because of his injury and him thinking that it was his fault we were going through all of this. He felt like less of a man because he couldn’t contribute like he normally does. Even though these moments happened it pushed us to labor on our knees in prayer. This season pushed us out of our comfort zone spiritually. My husband really began his own relationship with Christ during this time; we both could only depend on Him. The more we depended on God and let go of the stress and stopped putting all of our trust in people. We watched God do it ALL! Pay every bill, wipe every tear, strengthen us when we were weak, heal my husband with him still doing the job his surgeon said he couldn’t, and get us to our wedding day without any debt! We never lacked for anything! Our wedding day was the celebration we needed after all that had taken place! We had the victory! 

I wanna share some important tips that I learned when my Faith was tested during this season:

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1. “Prayer is key and faith unlocks the door.” Pastor Jeffery Johnson: My Pastor says this quote often when he is teaching or preaching a sermon, and it wasn’t until this test that I fully grasped it. Prayer and faith go hand and hand; you cannot exercise one without the other. Hebrews 11:6 makes it plain, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” To break this down, praying without faith is not an option. It’s impossible to please God without it. When making your requests known to God you MUST believe that He will do the very best for you according to his perfect will. The last piece of that verse is, “he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Therefore, when your prayer is combined with a healthy dose of faith it is POWERFUL. When exercising both God will reward you for being conscientious and showing persistent effort. Now, his reward may be different than what you expect, but He WILL NOT let you down. How do I know? Romans 8:28 states: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

2. His strength is made PERFECT when we are weak: This tip comes from 2nd Corinthians 12:9 states, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Y’all your girl was WEAK during this season. When my fiance now husband got injured I was working 2 jobs at the time. I want to share why I was working 2 jobs because there is importance behind it. I got that job because I purchased a new car months before and it had been a while since I had a car payment. I did not want to alter my lifestyle in any way so I secured the second job as a safety net. Shortly after I started I realized I was making more than enough money at my main job to pay my car payment and live comfortably. I tried to quit that job on multiple occasions but God would never allow me to. I really tried to quit so many times y’all, but God knew my husband’s injury would come later that year and that income would be needed. The importance is that Romans 8:28 worked. God was even revealing himself in the midst of the test. My main job schedule was mon-fri 4AM-1PM and my part time job hours varied. Typically I worked 2 to 3 days a week anywhere between 4 up to 8 hour shifts. Sometimes I worked 4AM-1PM, went home, took a nap then worked 4PM to midnight at my part time job; to get right back up at 3AM. Not to mention I never missed any of my husband’s physician visits or physical therapy appointments, and physical therapy was 3 times a week. We also remained active in our church’s ministry and did I mention we were still planning an ENTIRE WEDDING! WEAK was an understatement! There were times I didn’t know how I was even functioning, sometimes it felt like I was having an outer body experience. However, thinking back I KNOW it was only God and His strength. This human body can only do so much it is limited but God’s strength is limitless.

3. Exercise your Faith: James 2:17 NIV states: “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” You have to activate your faith! When we received that devastating news from the doctor about my husband’s current job situation, I exercised my faith and flexed it hard! Now y’all it’s not always easy to maintain this type of mindset when things get tuff. I am forever grateful for the supportive community that my husband and I had during this time. Even though we felt like giving up at times our community would keep us reminded of who God is and His promises toward us. There was a particular day which happened to be my bridal shower, I remember being so stressed out that day because someone had promised us they would pay an expense related to our wedding. Needless to say they did not come through and it placed my husband and I in a bind. Do yall know the Lord spoke to me and said, “Just enjoy your bridal shower I already have worked it out.” The monetary gifts I received from my bridal shower was enough to take care of what we needed with money left over. I wept to God and asked him to forgive me because once again he is ALWAYS looking out for me! So exercise your faith! Make God’s deeds known speak them LOUDLY AND PROUDLY because to have faith without works is dead faith.

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Faith is necessary for any christian as stated in Hebrews 11:6 it is impossible to please God without it. I don’t know about yall, but I want God to be pleased with me and every aspect of my life. One lesson that I’m currently working on in my current relationship with God is reacting. I’m learning that God does nothing without the Holyghost warning you first. Therefore, because I get fair warned and the devil never presents any new tricks I am left with a choice. I can choose to have a reaction and go down a rabbit hole, or I can take a moment and respond with a Faith response having hope and trusting God. You want to know what’s so awesome, is that God doesn’t even require you to have this enormous amount of faith. He only requires your measure of faith to be the size of a grain of mustard seed. (Matthew 17:20) According to a source named “Plant Bible ” from Old Dominion University. “A grain of mustard seed is approximately (⅛) inch so it is not the smallest seed but it is the smallest seed of those which “you plant in the ground.” God is just asking you to have Faith that’s the size of the smallest seed that you can plant in the ground. When you think about it from that perspective, that’s not unreachable at all. When having a test in your life, because they will come, and they wont stop as long as you’re breathing. Remember that tests only come to make your relationship with God even greater and for God to get the glory out of your life and your trial. Your faith can not be tested without a test and without that test you can not level up! I will leave yall with a quote my husband told me a few years back, “How can you have faith in something you can not see? You can’t see oxygen but you believe it’s there and better yet you breathe.”

Love Your Sis,

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Hello readers it’s been a minute, huh?! First I just wanna say sorry for dipping out on y’all like that. I am praying that definitely doesn’t happen again. But y’all, life has been “lifing” for your girl. A lot has transpired and I had to take care of me. So I’ll give y’all some insight into my time away. Let’s pick up when I published my last blog in April of 2021 titled, “The Church Can Be A Hurtful Place.” By the way thank you all for all the support and positive feedback from that blog. That truly was one of the hardest blogs I have written and I’m grateful for all the positive feedback it has received.

Shortly after this time, my mother-in-love started dealing with some real HEAVY spiritual battles. I won’t go into the details, but needless to say “a lot” is not even the word that would suffice for what she was experiencing. In a previous blog, I told you all that my husband is from NC, so all of his family for the most part still lives there. We had to end up meeting my mother-in-love to bring her to spend a weekend with us so  we could offer her support away from all that she was going through. We had family prayer when we picked her up and we started going to war for her. Now, I know some of you might be wondering, “what is this girl talking about when she says “war”?, like is she fighting?” The bible tells us in Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” So basically as believers our fight is not with people or objects, it’s not a physical fight, but it is indeed a spiritual one. The devil will try to use anything as a part of an attack against you, but our true opponent is sin. Therefore, when I mention war, I’m talking about a spiritual battle. So we were ready! My husband and I had that type of mindset all weekend long. I was not playing with the devil ok! Before my mother-in-love got here I was telling my husband, “I see the devil for who he is and he never has any new tricks.” I was ready to deal with him ok!  I anointed everything with oil, from the car to the bags, everything got touched that night! After that weekend we spent warring, she left feeling a lot better than she came. There was still a journey she had to go through, but she was definitely more equipped to handle it.

After that weekend in late June 2021, my husband and I were getting ready to move and we had just closed on our new home! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 “OH God, We Thank YOU! *Tabitha Brown Voice*.” So we still had a lot to finish to prepare to move. My grandmother was helping us pack some of our things some days and I was telling her what I had been experiencing since my mother-in-love had left. In the past I have struggled with suicidal thoughts. I even tried a suicide attempt when I was 11 years old, if you haven’t watched my Dear God interview titled, “Dear God, Please Save Me”, I talk about this journey in that interview. However, the Lord has delivered me from that. But these thoughts started coming back after dealing with my mother-in-love’s situation. As I was explaining everything to my grandmother she said, “I’m not surprised that the devil is trying to attack you because you put him on notice. You assembled a body of believers together to war on behalf of your mother-in-love. You recognized what she was dealing with was spiritual and you assembled a Jesus Army of people to help her, so the devil isn’t pleased with you. You are public enemy #1.” Wooh! Did she nail that or what?! That made me realize there was a target on my back.

“I’m putting you on NOTICE .. see you are trying to attack me in private, but I’m letting you know in public, I’m not to be played with.”

– Diamond Melvin

Honestly y’all, even after that shocking realization from my grandmother, things got even heavier. It just seemed like a downward spiral from there. During one of the most exciting times in my life having just purchased our first home and moving in, I was supposed to be so excited! But I was experiencing everything but that. I can’t even put into words how I felt, but I didn’t feel like Diamond at all. It felt like I had to force myself to be happy. I remember telling my husband one night, “I don’t know what’s going on with me.” With such reassurance in his voice he responded, “It’s nothing we can’t get through, it aint nothing but that stupid devil.” So I was determined to figure out what was going on with me.

I found myself extremely unhappy with my job at the time. I had been there almost 6 years and I was ready to go after the 1st year, but it wasn’t my time to move just yet. Like a lot of people, my previous job transitioned to working-from-home when the pandemic hit and I loved everything about working-from-home at first. After doing it over a year, it got really dark for me. I am an outgoing person so going week after week just getting up to sit at my dining room table and not really having any expectations for my day started to be a lot for me. Like no reason to wear non lounge clothes Monday-Friday and only doing my hair or looking like something on the weekends was an adjustment. My husband and I don’t have any children yet so it’s just us, so when he would be at work it would be so quiet even though I was playing music, etc. Also with our move, we purchased our home in a different city in the same state. This was away from my family and I’m used to being close to my family. I felt very much by myself in this new city. Now, I’m not knocking working-from-home, I’m just saying it wasn’t for Diamond. Even though I would take drives after my work day, get out of the house on my lunch break, talk on the phone with friends, listen to music, and consume my time with other things; it still felt like everything was closing in on me. I had the opportunity to work a hybrid schedule which I thought would have helped me, but the new city I moved to made my commute a lot longer and harder. Considering the amount of time I’m actually at work, my commute, and fighting the traffic to get home; I would barely be seeing my husband every day so we both realized this was not going to work.

At this point I felt like I was barely making it day by day with all this time I had by myself. All I had was my thoughts and the devil was taking full advantage of every moment. During all of this I was still staying in my Word, praying, etc. But I was still going through a heavy battle. I had been telling one of my close girlfriends at my church what was going on and she asked me, “had I considered finding a new job?” She knew how unhappy I was in my current situation. She also suggested filling up those idle moments by watching a sermon. Shortly after having this talk with her, my husband and I had our house warming and of course some of my best friends attended and I was able to catch up with them. I began to tell them what I was experiencing and they were so annoyed that I hadn’t let them know what was going on with me sooner. After we got through that, my best friend really hit some strong points for me. 1. Moving away and feeling by myself, 2. Working-from-home and still by myself, and on top of that 3. I had just stopped taking birth control which I had been on for the past 5 years, so hormones could’ve been a factor as well. When she pointed out all those things I was thinking to myself, “have some grace for yourself sis that’s a lot of change.”

One night in my prayer closet I found myself watching a sermon from Sarah Jakes Roberts titled: “Breaking Point”. She was teaching about Hannah. Anyone that has read Hannah’s story knows how badly she wanted to have a son. Hannah continued to pray year after year, after year, even when she was provoked by her adversary and even though she witnessed Peninnah (her husband’s other wife) continuously give birth to children. However, she was persistent in her prayers, never giving up. One prayer that she prayed, you could tell she had reached her breaking point. She prayed so hard people thought she was drunk, but what really happened is Hannah gave the Lord the issues of her heart. She gave God access to what she desired without even mumbling a word. She had experienced a personal encounter with the Lord. Year after year she had been praying, but it wasn’t until she changed the way she prayed that she received her promise. So this was me! I had reached my breaking point of being in this depressed state. This whole journey I had been praying and talking with the Lord but it was all in my head or journal. I never put my mouth piece on it. My pastor said one time, “it’s all fine to talk to the Lord to yourself, but sometimes you gotta put your mouth on that thing to give it some sound!” So that’s what I started doing .. approaching this whole experience differently! I testified in church one Sunday letting everyone know that I was not in the best place at the time mentally, but in my testimony I told the devil, “I’m putting you on NOTICE .. see you are trying to attack me in private, but I’m letting you know in public, I’m not to be played with.” Every prayer from that point was just my voice getting louder and louder. After doing this for a while, that suicidal spirit had lifted off me. Then I started making some bigger changes. I changed jobs and started getting back to being more intentional about me. And just like that, your girl is back like she never left.

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Now y’all, honestly I didn’t know if I could start back up with my blog. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and all the things because I had slacked off on my assignment. But one night the Lord had me log in and just look at my blog and see some of the comments and messages from y’all, the readers, and to know that this was making a difference stirred me back up and all those feelings left. I know what I’m called to do and ain’t nobody mad but the devil! He really thought he had stopped your girl, but he won’t get that win. So thank y’all for rocking with me and be on the lookout for new blogs and interviews!

Love Your Sis,

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Emmett Price defines “church hurt” as, “Pain sometimes inflicted by religious institutions a pain that distances sufferers from their communities and from God.” “Church hurt” has become a prominent discussion today within the Christian community. Being a millennial who has a relationship with Christ, I have witnessed “church hurt” being a huge part of why millennials are no longer wanting to attend church. In my opinion, I honestly believe “church hurt” leaves the victim with some tough decisions to consider. Do you let this experience turn you away from God completely? Do you let this experience turn you away from church? Do you punish any other person that has a relationship with Christ based on this experience? For the ones that may have caused the hurt, there’s a fine line between delivering the Truth of the bible and spewing judgment and hurt to your members. This topic is very close to me because I have personally experienced “church hurt”. For my readers, I hope my testimony will encourage you to get to know God for yourself so that you know Him so well that no matter what people say, you know WHO God is and WHO He is in your life. I have found this to be the key to getting through “church hurt.”

I personally experienced “church hurt” in my previous church. So quick backstory, I grew up in a traditional C.O.G.I.C. (Church of God In Christ) church; that “women wear skirts and no jeans” type of church. So a lot of stuff was pretty much a no go. I can remember how every transitional part of my childhood was questioned. When I started going through puberty, there was a concern about my clothes, when I joined the step team in school, there was a concern with me “dancing”, when I got my first boyfriend, there was a concern about me dating and potentially having sex. The list can go on and on and on. Needless to say from these experiences I had developed a huge issue with validation. I honestly felt like I needed to be perfect and I couldn’t make any mistakes because CLEARLY I was going to hear about it. I didn’t even realize how much I struggled with validation until I met my husband and he asked me, “why do you care what people think of you so much?” And then it made me think of my experiences growing up in church and I had an “aha” moment. Before my “church hurt” experience, the Lord let me know it was time to move to another ministry. He not only told me, He also confirmed it through 3 guest speakers that came to our church for certain events. I shared what the Lord gave me to my previous Associate Pastor at the time. I honestly believe his response was based on losing a member rather than seeking God FIRST and then giving me an answer. He let me know I was receiving everything I needed spiritually in that ministry. I thought that meant it wasn’t my time to leave yet so I stayed, despite what God told me. Let me just tell you right now! When you disobey God when He tells you to move, He will create a way that forces you to do so.

When my husband and I were dating he became the drummer at my previous church. My husband and I kept our feelings for one another as friends for a while. I just didn’t want to deal with any of the comments. Then we both decided to share and tell our friends, family, etc. because of course with anyone you are dating people can see that your feelings are beginning to get deeper for one another and after a while it’s hard to just keep telling everyone you are just friends. Once this happened, it began the battle. A missionary in my previous church called myself and my husband into a meeting with the Associate Pastor at that time. Her whole point of the meeting was that she felt like we were behaving inappropriately in church for a couple that was saved. Like sitting too close, she even referenced a time where he had to walk behind me to get out of the pew and she said, “he brushed up against me.” The entire meeting was pretty annoying honestly. My grandmother came with us to the meeting and she shut that down.

“The reality is,

JESUS

died for

your sins,

NOT PEOPLE.”

– Diamond Melvin

I’m from VA born and raised and my husband came here from NC for college. Once we met and he had finished school, he decided to stay. He needed a place to stay after college because he was no longer going to be in campus housing and my aunt opened up her doors. So after a few months went by I got my own place and my husband began staying over my house at times. Now I know the way that sounds, but nothing was even happening, but because it looked a certain way people took it for what it was. My aunt, the one my husband was staying with, felt she was in a very uncomfortable position during this time. She felt she was hiding that my boyfriend at the time would stay the night at my house. I assured her she didn’t have to take on that responsibility. I told her I’m grown and I will have to answer for my own choices. Needless to say the missionary that brought my husband and I in that meeting is one of my aunt’s closest friends. One day she called my aunt to ask her questions about my living arrangements, “Is Nick living with Diamond?” My aunt wouldn’t answer the questions directly so she took that as a yes. However, she didn’t stop there; she then called my father who at the time was a Deacon in the church. My dad just shut it down. He was like, “Diamond is grown, if you have any questions ask her, my daughter does not live with me.” So basically after this I was back in the office with her and the Associate Pastor, she wanted me to be sat down from all my duties in the church because of what she “thought” was going on at my house. The Associate Pastor at the time believed me, but the missionary had no respect for him; she would run all over him. So this situation became a WHOLE ordeal at my church to the point that my aunt kicked my husband, then boyfriend, out of her house and at that point he had to move in with me. From there I made the decision to sit down from all my church duties to keep the peace. But get this! The missionary only had an issue with what I was doing, she never questioned my husband’s position. It didn’t matter. This is when my family was fed up because I was just being singled out. If the issue was us living together before marriage, then why wasn’t my husband also told to sit down from his duties, it was only about me.

At this point I was experiencing so many things anxiety, depression, embarrassment you name it, I felt it. I was in a ministry that I could no longer be used in. All because of what someone “thought” I was doing in MY house. I remember the mother of the church told me, “Diamond, it feels like someone died here, like we are grieving.” It would be so heavy to walk into that church. My positions at my previous church were Youth Department President and I was over the praise and worship team. I stopped doing everything. One Sunday my praise and worship team needed help so I helped sing during the service. I usually sing with my eyes closed a lot, so I didn’t see it, but I was told the missionary left the church while I was helping out with praise and worship and went to my previous Pastor’s house. He was older so he stopped coming to church regularly. She told him I was singing and shouldn’t be because I was “shacking up” (living together with your significant other before marriage). So what do you know, later that day, I got a call from my Associate Pastor who’s questioning me about singing with the praise and worship team during service and he let me know that the missionary left service and went to my late Pastor’s house and at that point, I had enough! I called my family and let them know that I was not coming back! I remember screaming on the phone to my family like, “how am I supposed to forgive this person!?” At that point my family was over it as well, my dad said, “Diamond I just want you in church on Sunday, it doesn’t have to be here … you don’t have to come back here.”

I didn’t come back. Honestly I wanted to be done with church and God to be honest. I went down a dark path because people were so consumed by what they thought was happening in my house that they didn’t see me spiritually dying. I did have sex with my boyfriend now husband at that point because they thought I was doing it anyway. I was so hurt and broken that I didn’t even care. I had been in this church my entire life. I felt like I had been kicked out of my home. I felt lost and abandoned. Like the “church hurt” definition, I started getting separated from God and communities. All of my really close friends have amazing relationships with God and they always wanted to get together, but I would blow them off cause I didn’t want to deal with people’s comments. I felt so alone. I started attending my now church which is crazy because my Pastor now served in my old church years before he started his own ministry, that’s how we know each other. When I first started going I LITERALLY would cry and weep every service. Then one day, my now First Lady called me out of the blue asking me about inviting my youth to an event and I let her know I was no longer at that church. She then responded, “your transition has been hurtful hasn’t it.” I have never told her anything, even in that conversation I didn’t, she just began to pray for me. Then at another service she told me, “Diamond, we don’t expect you to be perfect if you join here, I’m still going to USE you in your mistakes.” That broke me down! I cried the biggest cry when she said that to me. As I mentioned before, I felt like I had to be perfect based on my experiences through church. But, this time the perfect girl messed up and because I had never made a mistake like this before, I did not know how to handle it! It literally was breaking me down.

Whew! That was a lot right! I know reading that might make you think, “Girl, how could you keep going to church after that?” “How could you still trust God?’ “Have you forgiven these people?” I’m sure that there are many questions you could ask, but I wanna share with you the lessons I learned during my “church hurt” experience. This was how I got through it.

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1. Do Not Let “Church Hurt” Turn You Away from God– The reality is, we don’t get hurt by the church, we get hurt by the people in them. I’ve noticed that people have high expectations for the people that go to church. We expect them to be perfect and to never be hurtful based on the life they have chosen to live, Christianity. However, that’s NOT reality! Christ is the ONLY one that is perfect. As His followers we are striving for perfection and righteousness. So let go of that expectation that when I go to this church everything will be great, I’m never going to be hurt, no one is going to hold me accountable etc. Put your expectations in Christ! Have the mindset that I am going to come here and glorify and worship Him. The reality is JESUS died for your sins, not people. (John 3:16) So if you are in this space I encourage you to think about that. Do not blame God for something that people have done, and keep your expectations in Christ, not people. (Deuteronomy 3:16)

2. Do Not Judge ALL Churches Based Off of One Experience– In this blog I mentioned how before my “church hurt” experience the Lord told me that it was time for me to move to another ministry and my work there was finished. I truly had a (Romans 8:28) experience. Even though I couldn’t see it because of the hurt, EVERYTHING was working for my good. When I left my previous ministry I asked God to lead me to where I should go and He led me to the church that I’m at now. God used my Pastor Jeffrey Johnson and his wife Lucinda Johnson God then to nurse me back to life. Everything that I needed during that time, God sent through them and their ministry. They never judged my situation, they never even asked about it. They said, “Diamond our job is to teach you the Word of God, and love you. We do not do God’s job.” God is the judge, not people. They taught me how God still loved me even in the midst of my mistakes. (Psalms 37: 23-24) When I disobeyed God in not moving when He told me to, He then allowed me to go through a trial that forced me to move because God knew that I needed to move to gain what I needed for my next step in my life, marriage. My Pastor and his wife counseled my husband and I before we got married when we were in our same living situation. If I would have judged all churches based on my experience, I never would have been led to exactly what I needed for this season in my life. That one experience does not define ALL churches.

3. Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You– Getting to this place of forgiveness within this situation was difficult, but rewarding. I realized not only did I feel pressured by my upbringing in church to be perfect, but some of my family members also were putting that same pressure on me. The moment when I asked God to forgive me for my sins and forgive others who hurt me I began to walk in my freedom. I realized I was holding myself in bondage and God had already forgiven me. The reality is God forgives easier than people, people will try to hold you to your past mistakes and transgressions but that’s not how God operates. (1 John 1:9) God being so amazing, He sometimes allows those who have hurt you to admit their wrongs. When you truly have the Holy Ghost, He convicts you of your wrong doings and it eats at you. God allowed family members to apologize for putting this type of pressure on me to be perfect, some of those who even hurt me in my previous church apologized as well. Forgiveness is key.

4. Extend Grace to Others – I extended grace to my previous Associate Pastor, the missionary and anyone that were a part of this. I realized that things were bigger than me. Leadership had some things that they needed to learn and had to make some changes. The message of God never changes, but your delivery should. They needed to work on their delivery. God used me for their learning because hopefully they learned to not treat others this way. I also realized that Leaders are just people too! As people we really hold those in leadership positions in church on pedestals and we should stop. No matter the title, we are all servants of God and because we were born into sin we are going to make mistakes and we won’t get everything right at times. I understand people can only give out what they have been taught and now that they know better they can do better. (Romans 11:6)

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“Church hurt” is a huge reason why people are no longer wanting to attend church anymore. But I think that is because we don’t really understand it. We blame God and the church on what people have done. It’s not the church that has hurt us but the people in them. This is why it is SO important for you to know God for yourself! I honestly would have lost myself if I didn’t have my own personal relationship with Christ. I want to encourage my readers who have decided to no longer give going to church a chance because of “church hurt”. Take your expectations away from people and put them in God. We need the church as believers we need to be surrounded and supported by a community of believers like us. For us to worship with one another in spirit and in truth, church is where a believer gains strength. Stop blaming God for what people have done and ask Him to lead and guide you to the ministry that you are supposed to be in so that you can prosper.

Love Your Sis,

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As a single person there may be certain times that you wish you had a significant other to share special moments with to make those moments more enjoyable; birthdays, traveling, or getting a promotion at work. What about certain times of the year such as holidays? Holidays are all about spending time with your loved ones, but you may not have a significant other to spend them with. Let’s not forget the BIGGEST one of them all, I mean the entire day is devoted to love, Valentine’s Day. We all know during this day we do something extra special for our significant other to express our love towards them. However, during these times or moments when you’re single, the enemy has a way of placing negative thoughts in your mind that singleness means you have failed or are being punished for past sins you may have committed that God has already forgiven you for. He tries to convince you that singleness means desperation; that you are empty and you will always be lonely. How do I recognize these thoughts so well? Because I used to have them at times when I was single. So let me just clear this up right now, SINGLENESS is NOT ANY OF THOSE THOUGHTS. It’s a beautiful season in your life, a gift from God even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. In this season you have an opportunity to find out who you are and get whole in God; and if it’s God’s will for you to get married, this season will prepare you for that too, at the appointed time.

Growing up in the black church I’ve noticed there is such a HUGE focus on marriage, but not on singleness. My childhood church was very traditional, so if you were dating, that person better plan on being your spouse. Lol. But leadership at the time would be so concerned about what could go wrong in my single season with dating that they failed to teach me about the beauty of singleness that would later prepare me for dating and then marriage. In my opinion the teachings that you receive while you are single are so imperative to your growth as a person. Just think about it, how many times have you been in a relationship and you got out of it thinking what you could have done differently?  How many times have you wished you would have avoided the relationship altogether? That’s why knowing how God values your single season is so important because when you know better you do better.

That’s why

knowing how

God values

your single

season is

so important

because when

you know

better you

do better.

– Diamond Melvin

If you’ve read my first blog, “Dear God, Is It Me? (The Reality Check)”, I wrote about getting out of a situationship and not knowing who Diamond was anymore. I had got so unfocused and I needed to get myself back on track and that meant starting with my relationship with Christ. During this time, God dealt with me so much about my single season and showed me how getting rid of the distractions in my life allowed me to completely devote myself to Him. When you get married or in a relationship, God is aware that your focus may not always be completely on Him. It is no longer just about you, there will be another person to consider. I was able to find myself again and I was able to get “whole” in God; which is a daily walk and takes a lot of forgiveness, dying to your flesh, and being real with yourself, knowing where you are and what you need to work on. I remember reaching my peak in my single season, I was so satisfied with God in my life that I was fine with Him and Him alone. It was when I reached that place in Him that He allowed me to meet my Husband.

So what does the Bible say about valuing your singleness?

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1. Singleness is a GIFT from God-  Society, social media and even people can place so much pressure on you that you start to question where you are in your life. You probably may have thought you would be married by this point or maybe engaged or at least dating someone. Remember to enjoy the gift of singleness that God has blessed you with. I remember when my husband and I were dating and at this point in our relationship I was just like “where is the ring?”! Lol. However, the Lord convicted me on that because the reality is you are still considered single until you say, “ I Do.” I got so caught up in the anticipation of being engaged that I stopped enjoying my single season or my boyfriend at the time, now husband. I was just laser focused on the next level of our relationship, but I’m glad the Lord reminded me to embrace the gift He currently blessed me with. 1st Corinthians 7:7 states “But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” In this text Paul is letting us know that singleness is a gift, and he isn’t speaking in a way of remaining single, but he’s speaking of the state of being single. As long as you have it, it’s a gift from God, just as marriage will be God’s gift if you ever receive it. We should receive our portion in life, whether it is singleness or marriage, as a gift of God’s grace to us.

2. Singleness Has Advantages– Single people do not have the responsibilities of marriage. (1st Corinthians 7:28) Marriage is a beautiful thing and rewarding, I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but marriage is also hard. There’s more than one person to consider in decisions about use of time, accommodations, holidays, even the daily menu. And there’s more than one person to worry about. In other words, when you’re single you can DO YOU. You are also able to have a deeper relationship with God because you have fewer distractions. (1st Corinthians 7:35) When you are married, you will have a spouse to care for and because of that your availability is not going to be always as open as someone who is single to do the Lord’s work (witnessing to people, leading a bible study, etc). Instead of focusing on the difficulties of being single also look at the advantages.

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I know that being single can be frustrating. You should start asking God, “What is YOUR will for my life?” If it does not involve marriage, then accept God’s will. But if it does involve marriage, before you say “I Do”, make sure that you are marrying your God ordained mate, the person God has hand picked for you. And you might ask how will you know? I am a witness that God will let you know and not only that, but He will also send confirmation. So I come against all those negative thoughts that the enemy is trying to place in your head to give you a negative outlook on singleness. Enjoy your journey and where you are right now; take this opportunity to get into a deeper relationship with Christ and to get to know yourself. Don’t be willing to settle and remember that you are strong enough to wait for what you deserve. But even if you don’t feel strong, in those moments of weakness remember that you can stay on this journey, it only begins with two words “Dear God,”. Be encouraged, you got this!

Love Your Sis,

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Who wants to do their job when they are having a bad day? I believe the majority of people would answer no to that question. But what happens when this particular job is in ministry and God is using you as a vessel to pour into others? When I was 19 years old my previous church had promoted me to Youth Department President. Let’s just say I was pretty overwhelmed when I received the position. I was thinking, “I am just becoming a young woman myself and now I’m expected to lead a group of kids, teens, and young adults in living for Christ.” All I could think was one word, HELP! As terrified as I was, I came to terms with it. I prayed to God about it and rose to the occasion and He equipped me for everything that the position entailed. However, the hardest time for me to lead was when my life was falling apart. Throughout some of my previous blogs I’ve mentioned how back in 2015 God was taking me through a transitioning period. Certain friendships had ended, a relationship or “situationship” as I call it had also ended, and I found myself unfocused and needing to get back closer to Christ. Even though I had my own personal stuff going on I was still expected to lead my Youth Department and to be totally honest I did not think I was worth following or equipped to lead because my life was falling apart.

I felt so helpless at times, like “God what do I have to offer?” Now thinking back over 5 years ago and asking God that question, it now highlights one of the many things that makes God so beautiful to me. When your life is falling apart is when He wants to use you the MOST! Take Joseph in the Bible for instance. Joseph was disliked by his own brothers and sold by them! His journey continued and he was lied on and thrown into jail for a crime he did not commit. After serving over 2 years in jail he was released based on him being able to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams and then was put in charge of Egypt. However, even though it seemed Joseph’s personal life was falling apart, God favored him through every struggle and he eventually was thankful that his brothers sold him because he knew that it was a part of God’s plan. He would not have been put in charge of Egypt if he was never sold therefore, he wouldn’t have been able to save his family when there was poverty all over Egypt.

“When

your life

is falling

apart is

when He

wants to use

you the MOST!”

– Diamond Melvin

Likewise, like Joseph, God used me even when I felt as if my life was in shambles. I became even more present in my department because the worst thing you can do when God has called you to lead is disappear. This can cause your followers to also lose motivation and disappear as well. He used me to be able to pour into my youth even more. I shared with them what I was going through so they would yield from making the same mistakes. He also birthed new visions for my department and in my personal life. God gave me the idea of creating a safe space for my teen’s to talk about things they could not talk about on a “typical” Sunday morning, I called it “The Breakout.” I thought I was just creating a safe space for teens to just be teens, however, God was always present. My teens were dealing with real issues and needed spiritual guidance and God used my bestfriend and I to fight spiritually for these kids and help them as they needed it. They were so excited for it and they were always looking forward to the next one. So God was using my struggle for His Glory.

Important Lessons I have learned in leading when your life is falling apart:

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1. Be reminded of God’s love through this difficult time- The reality is that you are going to suffer in this life just as Jesus suffered, however, you must never forget that God loves you. In Isaiah 54:10 it states “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” That verse is literally saying that although tough times will arise, God’s love for you is unchanging, never failing, and most importantly unconditional.

2. In the midst of uncertainty TRUST God’s plan- What I find funny is that when we go through things it’s like we treat it as if God is not already aware, as if it’s new information to Him. Welp, He wanted me to let you know that He is aware and completely in control. Circumstances may change, but God NEVER changes and you must trust His plan for your life. He was fully aware that I had to continue to lead my Youth Department even though I was going through my own personal drama. When I started to trust in His plan, the better leader I became. (Jeremiah 29:11)

3. Run to Jesus for Comfort- Listen, you have to have God when it comes to living this life. Life is too much for anyone to handle on their own. Yes, God sends us family, friends, pastors, mentors, etc. for support but ultimately we still need God. You have to have someone to run to when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Someone you can pull on when you don’t know which way to turn and that someone is God. Once God has comforted you, you are now able to share that comfort with others. (2nd Corinthians 1:3-4)

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Life is going to throw you curveballs, but you cannot let that stop you from living a purposeful life and still doing what God has called you to do. I do not always like the tests that God takes me through, but I have learned to change my attitude and my mindset towards struggles because your response is everything! I now embrace struggles because I know I’m serving a God who is AWARE of what I’m going through because He allowed it. I serve a God who is AVAILABLE whenever I need Him. And I know that He is ABLE to bring me through whatever I am facing and to equip me with the ability to still lead and serve for Him. (Ephesians 3:20-21) I hope this blog will encourage you to embrace Joseph’s experience and to keep pushing no matter what the circumstances are because when it’s a part of God’s plan, He favors you. And yes, as Christians we will suffer, but we do not suffer like the world suffers because we have God.

Love Your Sis,

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As we all know within the next 2 weeks we are going to be coming to the end of 2020 and WOW! What a year right? We can all agree that this year has been A LOT! We have experienced unexpected losses and not to mention maneuvering through a global pandemic! The pandemic in itself has cost some of us loved ones, our jobs, homes, and some businesses. We have been whisked into quarantine and social distancing; wearing masks everywhere we go has become the new norm. Parents are now making arrangements for virtual learning for their kids and our frontline health care workers are sacrificing their lives to keep us alive everyday. This year proved that police brutality towards African Americans and systematic racism is still alive and well. Can you believe in 2020 we still have to ask the question, “Does my black life matter?”. Let’s not mention the longest election process and on top of dealing with all of this, we still have to deal with the regular hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. So, I think we all can agree that we are looking forward to 2021 and ending the chapter on a very trying year.

Usually around this time you start to hear the topic of New Year’s Resolutions. You may hear your friends or family members around you talking about what they plan to do differently in the new year. That could be exercising regularly, eating healthier, starting a new business, etc. Which is why I wanted this blog to focus on an idea that the Lord gave to me this time last year. I truly believe this made this year a successful one for my husband and I, despite all the turmoil around us. Within my previous blog I talked about how I was going to move differently in my life after going through some trials and tribulations and that meant putting God FIRST in every aspect of my life. Even though I made that decision for myself back in 2015, even to this day I still strive to put Him first in any and everything I do. Therefore, this time last year the Lord dropped it in my heart to trust Him differently.

“See y’all

gotta act

like y’all know

Who you are

serving!”…

– Diamond Melvin

The Lord gave me the idea of my husband and I writing down all of our goals and plans we wanted to accomplish in 2020 and placing them on the wall in our prayer closet so we could see them. He also instructed me to write down scriptures that represented each goal, so that way if we ever got discouraged in this process we could always reflect back on His Word to encourage us and guide us through. After we wrote down our goals with scriptures we prayed over them, asking God not only for these blessings but to lead and guide us and not let us move before Him at all.

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This was my husband and I having Crazy Faith. Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church defines Crazy Faith as, “thoughts and actions that lack reason, but trusting fully in what you cannot explicitly prove, it’s not faith if you can see it and it’s not faith if it’s not relating to hope” (Hebrews 11:1). Yeah, so what my husband and I put on our prayer wall last December seemed pretty crazy cause for some things the way our bank account was set up and the way these goals were set up you would have been like yall trying to do what?! Lol. However, I just had enough faith in God to know that EVERYTHING that we placed on that wall was going to happen. I didn’t know when or how, but I knew it would. “How did you know?”, you may ask. See y’all gotta act like y’all know Who you are serving! I’m talking about God! My Father, the Man that holds ALL power in His hands, and not only that but blesses me with unmerited favor. You know that favor when you got that job without the degree that they said you weren’t qualified for? Or how about when the doctor says, “sir or ma’am there’s nothing else we can do”, then you come back for a check up and the doctors can’t find a trace of what they saw in sight! Yeah, I’m just here to remind y’all, God is still performing MIRACLES, SIGNS, and WONDERS (Hebrews: 2:4) and He has NOT forgotten about YOU.

So, let me just brag on God real quick. My husband and I plan on buying a house next year and we had put that on our prayer wall. We knew we needed to make some big financial changes this year to set us up for 2021. So, with the help of the Lord and my bestfriend we got on a strict budget always making sure that when we got paid that we gave our tithe and offering to God first, pay ourselves by putting money in our savings next, and then handle the rest of our bills. In the month of April we were blessed to be able to pay off ALL of our credit card debt totaling $7,829.99. Now, that in itself has freed us up to be able to pay off more debt and save even more. We are on track to have another student loan and my husband’s car paid off before April, and April is when we will start looking for a home. We prayed that my husband would grow musically in ministry (he has been playing the drums at our church for a few years, but he had a desire to learn the keyboard). For his birthday in April I was blessed to be able to enroll him in keyboard lessons for one of his birthday presents. He did six months of that and as of last month my husband is officially our church’s new keyboardist. Crazy thing is he got the position the same week he was on his last keyboard lesson. We put my blog on our prayer wall (the Lord gave this idea to me back in 2014, but He let me know this year was going to be the year it would launch). Even when the year started I had done absolutely nothing to prepare for my blog, and then the quarantine hit! Thank You Jesus for the quarantine, that took us away from all the distractions life brings and because of that I was able to start focusing on this blog which I officially launched on October 1st.

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I just wanted to share a few things with y’all that we put on our prayer wall because if you trust God and obey His word it will happen for you too! I really do believe because we took that stance last December, God was able to carry us through this year with such grace. This year really put us to the test, however, my household decided to draw even closer to Christ. I was able to really grow in God even more because this year took us out of the “norm”. In my opinion it made me realize who “the Church” really is. With being a millennial at this time in my Christian journey from what I’ve observed most of us know how to do “church”. We know what to say to get the congregation in an uproar, we know our shouting ques, we know how to play “church”. However, I’m grateful for 2020 because I believe God took away the distractions to have us realize that WE are the Church! Us, the believers of Christ, and He’s coming back for us without a spot or wrinkle (Ephesians 5:27). Will you be ready? So, I encourage you to have some Crazy Faith in 2021; put your goals and aspirations before God and watch Him work. Also, keep in mind to pray that He equips you for the process that you will go through to reach your goals and be ok with a no! A delay does not mean a denial and from my experience God’s no’s are always A1. Remember, wherever God leads you to, He provides the way for you to reach your destination. As my Pastor Jeffrey Johnson says, “If you don’t see it before you see it, you will never see it.”

Love Your Sis,

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Prayer is an essential part of a Christian’s relationship with Christ. Prayer changes you, it turns you into a person that trusts God. Prayer is an opportunity to begin putting your complete trust in God because He knows what’s best for your life. As stated in my previous blog, on Day 93 of this journey I had a breakthrough and began walking in FREEDOM. When starting this new journey I knew immediately after going through all the drama that I faced, that I wanted totally different things for my life. I wanted to have more friends in my life who were living for Christ and applying the Word to their lives. I wanted the next man that God brought into my life to be my husband and I was totally fine with being single until God’s appointed time to send him to me. I wanted my relationship with Christ to be authentic. This time I knew I was all in and I didn’t want to just say it, I wanted my actions to follow and to be a doer of His Word.

“The reality is, my prayers don’t change God. But, I am convinced prayer changes me. Praying boldly boots me out of that stale place of religious habit into authentic connection with God Himself.“ – Lysa TerKeurst

I began meditating on Psalms 34 which states, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I took time and studied this verse. Delight, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, means, “to “take pleasure” or “to give keen enjoyment” or to “give joy or satisfaction to.”. Therefore, to delight in God’s Law/Word is to take pleasure in the Word of God. In simple words, it means we enjoy the Word. It is like your favorite dessert or food. Now, I know that can be difficult. I also used to struggle with reading God’s Word; my concentration was on the struggle bus. I would always get so distracted, however, we are fortunate to live in a time today where there are so many fun avenues to enjoy God’s Word. If you keep reading I will give you some tools that have helped me with this. So basically, once you delight yourself in God’s Word you get to reap the benefits of Him blessing you with the desires of your heart. When I really began to reflect I realized I was so used to making decisions for my life and not consulting God until I needed Him, which usually would be when something went wrong. Yeah I’m sure I’m not by myself on that. But, I’m talking about God, my Father, who knows every hair on my head, my thoughts before I can even think of them, and already had my life planned before I was even formed in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5). He knows me better than anyone so it sounds pretty foolish to not go to Him FIRST for things in my life. Therefore, starting this new found journey of freedom I knew I had to try things different than I had before. That meant seeking God FIRST.

“Have a prayer LIFE,

not prayer MOMENTS”

– Pastor Jeffery Johnson

That is what I began to do. I would delight myself in His Word and then pray. Yes, I gave my concerns and the things that I wanted in my life to God. Why? Because I’m His child, I know He wants what’s BEST for me. Seeking God FIRST also allows you to gain amazing benefits. Giving God First Priority allows you to experience peace in your life that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Yeah I’m talking about that peace where you are facing something that is so crazy to everyone else around you, and they are looking at you like; why are you unbothered? It’s because I’ve already turned it over to the One who can solve it! Knowing that your life is being directed by God releases unnecessary worry. It also allows us to be a blessing to others. Another great benefit is that you learn to be selfless. If no one has told you yet, let me be the one to say it. NEWS FLASH!!!!! Your Christian Journey is not just for you, it’s not even about you. Christ commands us to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ (Matthew 28:19-20). Therefore, God will use your life for His Glory if you allow Him to. Someone NEEDS to know your testimony of how you stepped out on faith and decided to put God first and the results that came from it. Someone else’s salvation could be awaiting that. This journey is SO MUCH BIGGER than you or me.

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Tools and Lessons That I Utilized to Help Me Move Differently

• Bible App by YouVersion – This a great tool to delight yourself in His Word it has been a HUGE help for me. You can download it to your phone from your application store. It allows you to connect with other people that are also reading God’s Word. It also comes with Bible plans. They have one for every topic you can think of and for any situation you are dealing with. It’s a great tool to help you learn God’s Word; some Bible plans even come with videos. It also has the different Bible translations so you can read the Bible in verbiage that you can understand. It’s a great tool, check it out!

• “Have A Prayer LIFE, not Prayer MOMENTS” (Pastor Jeffery Johnson) – I first heard this from my Pastor. It speaks for itself you cannot sustain your Christian journey on prayer moments, you have to develop a prayer life! As stated previously I would only turn to God in prayer after I tried to work things out myself, after everything had gone wrong. Cause let’s be honest I didn’t pray when things were going great! The Bible instructs us to pray without ceasing (1st Thessalonians 5:17). That means prayer moments are not going to cut it. You must make prayer a part of your being.

• P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens) – I also heard this acronym from my Pastor. I know when it seems like God is not answering your prayers right away that it gets frustrating. But you must trust His timing! Don’t be in a hurry to move before God’s timing and before getting clarity about His will for your life. Keep praying, don’t give up! Pray Until Something Happens!

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When you think of the Word different you think of dissimilar, unalike, distinct or separate. That’s exactly what walking in freedom feels like. It’s unlike anything I have ever experienced. The Lord let me know in order to keep operating in my freedom I was going to have to do things differently. I was going to have to let go of that previous way of how I handled my life. Making decisions on my own or consulting everyone else first and then taking it to God last. I had to operate in an entirely new mindset. That change all started with delighting in His Word, seeking Him first and then receiving the desires of my heart. It’s simple OBEY Him FIRST and you will reap after.

Love Your Sis,

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When I first started writing my “Dear God,” letters in 2015 it was not only to communicate with God, but also to document my personal journey to deliverance and freedom. Those of you that have read my previous blogs know that I had been walking through this healing process. It first started with me acknowledging that my relationship with Christ was on life support and I needed to get my life back on track and get whole in Him. Then I realized that I had to LET GO of situations and people that could no longer go with me to the season that God was moving me into. I had to LET GO in order to receive GREATER. I hit a stumbling block along the way when I was faced with the blatant reality that I was still living in unforgiveness and I had more work to do on Diamond. I thought I had moved on, but I did some self reflecting and saw this as an opportunity for growth so I kept moving forward.

“Which is funny

because I cried

about being hurt,

I cried because

I was frustrated,

but I never thought

to cry out to God…”

– Diamond Melvin

When I first began journaling I would label my journals day by day and on Day 93 everything changed! I remember it so clearly. I was at a church service one night at my church and I asked my best friend to attend with me. During this time in my life seasonal friendships with certain friends had ended prior to and I hadn’t seen some of them since then. However, because we had mutual friends my ex (the situationship) was also at this service as well as another close friend I used to have. The speaker for that night was on fire! You know that type of speaker that seems to be all up in your life and they don’t know you from Adam or Eve? Yes it was that type of message, God definitely sent that speaker for me. Towards the end of the message the speaker was closing out by doing an altar call and praying for people within the congregation. As he began to pray I heard him say, “Someone came here to RELEASE something on tonight. It’s been a journey for you, but just open your mouth and RELEASE it”. At this moment I was a mess. I was crying and fighting this moment and keeping my mouth shut. My best friend was consoling me but she was also pushing me through prayer! Side note: Get you some friends that are going to fight with and for you spiritually! It matters! Within moments as my best friend was praying I LET GO one of the biggest screams and cries! I began to shout and praise the Lord because I knew He had brought me out. Then on top of God being who He is, He also had my enemies watch! I knew what the Lord had done for me in that moment and I was delivered! Once service ended I was able to talk to those same people that it took so long to forgive and it wasn’t awkward at all. I was so happy and genuinely wishing everyone well.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary deliverance means, “the act of delivering someone or something : the state of being delivered especially : LIBERATION, RESCUE.” Rescue is HUGE! I’m so glad that I serve a God that when I cry for help, He listens and comes to rescue me (Psalms 34:17). Within this process of healing I had realized that I had been doing an array of things to achieve my freedom and to reach a place of forgiveness. But, when I began to think about my process I realized that I had not cried out to God until that night in church. Which is funny because I cried about being hurt, I cried because I was frustrated, but I never thought to cry out to God; The one who can turn my sorrows into joy, restore my strength, and ultimately change my situation in an instance. When I decided to cry out to God, that was the very moment that He rescued me. If you are on a journey of deliverance calling out to God is a MUST. Crying out to God is an act of desperation and requires total concentration. It is a fervent act on your behalf that shows that you are putting complete trust in God because you know that He is the only One who can bring you out. Crying out to God shows your humility, that you have faith in His power and resources, and that you are surrendering without any conditions. And guess what? He loves it!

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Some Important Lessons I Learned After Being Delivered

• Seeing Things from the Other Person’s Perspective- When we are going through hurt, naturally we are only concerned about self. Because we are blinded by the hurt the other person has caused us, we are stuck in unforgiveness. Therefore, we are unable to empathize with the person. “Hurt people, hurt people.” That statement is real, ok! When you have not dealt with unforgiveness or healed from certain experiences it is just baggage, you are going to take it wherever you go. (Ephesians 4:32)

• Forgiveness will be Tested- Do not be governed by your emotions. Within my last blog post, “Dear God, I Thought I Moved On.” I mentioned how God will allow tests to arise throughout your healing process. Keep in mind that just because you are on the journey towards forgiveness, that doesn’t mean that everyone that was in your circle previously is on that same journey. Some people will do things just to get a reaction out of you. Keep your self-control. (Proverbs 25:28)

• Praying for Those Who Hurt You-  Why is this important? Because let’s be honest, the last thing that you want to do is pray for someone that hurt you. That’s totally understandable, share that with God. He already knows your thoughts anyway! However, Christ commands it. Why? Because Christ still loves those that have even hurt you. He wants what’s best for them also. To see them renewed, redeemed and restored. Your prayers may very well help them get there! (Matthew 5:44)

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Ultimately working through this journey to deliverance you will realize being able to forgive is grace in action. We were blessed with God’s grace when He sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. Meaning that because of Christ’s sacrifice God no longer holds our sins against us. There is no more condemnation. Grace instructs us to be compassionate and kind with one another as God does for us. This is how we should live our everyday lives. With being able to forgive and reach my deliverance it allowed room for hearts to be mended and for me to be able to come into the presence of my enemies with a whole new perspective on how to interact with them. It allows me to be able to pray intentional prayers for them and MEAN IT. Walking in healing is a beautiful thing. I didn’t realize that when I was stuck in the drama, but when I cried out to God, He saw how desperate I was for freedom and how hard I had been working to reach it. In due time you WILL get your deliverance!

Love Your Sis,

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